Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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