I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize