Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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