i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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