In the future we'll all be gay
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize