I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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