How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
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