JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize