who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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