I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize