Ambien. No doubt about it.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
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Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
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It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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