I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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