I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize