there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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