Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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