so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
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Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
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"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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