He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize