At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize