well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize