im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize