billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize