I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize