FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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