Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
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From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
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just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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