so that wasnt chicken after all
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
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