I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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