he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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