the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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