It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
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Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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