your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Say something about gay babies.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize