i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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