My first STD was from a foam party
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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