just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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