just tell him i said nine months
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize