I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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