I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize