My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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