my shit smells like andre
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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