I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
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i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
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he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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