Umm I'm too high to move.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So. Much. Porn.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize