Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
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