How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
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Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
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I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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