I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
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my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
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Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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