Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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