I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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