You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
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his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
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Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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