youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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