bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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