I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize