my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize